Sleep Talking!

Sleep talking

The whole extended family used to gather around when my mother occasionally decides to take an afternoon nap. As she slips into deep slumber, my uncle would ask her, “Manni, where did you keep the left over Upma?”  After a few seconds my mother would blabber in her sleep, “I kept it in the bureau”. And all others sitting around would chuckle. Then the next question. “Where is the new dress?”  She would say, “ Check the fridge”. Another round of chuckles. 

These kind of Q&A were a regular feature in our family when we were children. And once she wakes up we would narrate the whole thing and she would also laugh with us without taking offence of being teased. What a sport!

Much later when Parkinson’s took over, she would imagine many things and say that there are people waiting outside our house, police has come to investigate, press is also waiting, some burglar in the house, someone trying to hit her or kill her, so on and so forth. My brother and family (including the children) would play along and make her feel comfortable every single time she went off into these hallucinations. 

The last few days of hers’, she would talk about my brother arguing with my hubby. She would imagine that The Lord’s procession is on its way and she asked me to get her ready quickly.  She saw things which we did not see. She talked to people who were long gone. In our stupid hopeful minds, all the irrelevant talking and babbling of hers’ were interpreted as hallucinations of Parkinson’s.  We did not think it could be her memory slipping back and forth. She answered a few questions correctly. But when quizzed about what she had for breakfast, she told the doc, “2 puris with sugar and curd rice”. And went on to tell why sugar and why not any potato dish for the sides. In reality she had with much struggle had eaten hardly 2 idlis. In fact I joked with her asking her if the idlis I made tasted like puris! On a different day, she would have laughed at my wit. But this time it struck her that she indeed had idlis that I had fed her and then fell silent. 

Memories, thoughts, ideas, imaginations, creativity - formed the basis of her last few days of sleep talking! Something that we teased her for, became the reason for our tears!! When will I know what she actually went through in her mind!

I am alright!

I am alright!

This is what my mother said whenever we asked her, “How are you, ma?” 

Even as a child, I recall how many times my mom had to get hospitalised either because she was dehydrated or anemic. In those times, we didn’t realise the gravity of the poor health of our parents. We were so much in oblivion and to ourselves. We knew that she will soon be doing her 18 hour chores. When we heard her respond to people checking on her health, she would always say, “I am alright!”  For a 10th Grader, her accent in English and her style of saying that with conviction, will even make the doctor attending on her think, “Does she really have a problem!”

As we grew to be teenagers and college-goers, we did not have the time to ask her how she was. Children are selfish. They don’t realise what their parents have to go through to see them achieve their goals. She did fall sick but since we were sure she will be “alright”, we had no worries. 

Time flew! We all got married off and went our ways. My brother and she lived a simple & peaceful life  in Mumbai. She found a simpler daughter-in-law who remained her biggest blessing all her life. What we daughters did not know was how much my mom missed her hubby who she had lost to kidney failure even when he was just 58! We thought she had a peaceful life with my brother and was strong to tide over any grief. When we used to call her rarely and ask about her well-being, the same response, “I’m alright!”

Six years ago she came back to Chennai with my brother and family and stayed only a couple of kms away from me. She was affected by Parkinson’s and we did not know what was in store for us. But every 6-8 months she had some health challenge and was admitted to the hospital, she would always smile and say, “I’m alright!”

The first time in all my memory of her, she never said, “I’m alright” was when she had decided to leave this world. A few weeks back she had a bout of low sugar episodes. She got hospitalised. She was in the hospital for 6 days exactly. I tried asking her in many different ways how she’s coping. Not once did I hear her say, “I’m alright!”  I knew intuitively that this is ominous. It has never happened. Something is wrong. And all my fears were justified when the doctor declared her dead on 1st of April. She did not fool us by saying she’s alright. She did not deceive us by giving false hopes. She knew she was NOT ALRIGHT. When will we see her again and ask her, “How are you, ma?”

The light of my life!

Bright red bindi on her forehead. Tinkling, gleaming eyes. Diamond nose-rings shining on her beautiful, sharp nose. Well structured teeth always smiling. Simple saree clad. Neatly combed hair, though scanty, made into a nice bun. Active and hyper active are the only two states that we have seen of her until her last few days. 

Super independent. Boss. Coach. Mentor. Problem solver. Lyricist. Vocalist. Veena player. Composer. Music Teacher. Daughter. Sister. Wife. Daughter-in-law, Sister-in-law. Mother. Grand Mother. Cook. Washerwoman. Cleaner. 

One of my deep rooted fears got busted on 1st of April. One of my many plans worked well. 

Giving up opportunities outside India was more to be with our parents and siblings. When parents aged, my conviction to continue our stay in India/Chennai increased. But as luck would have neither my father nor Jayan’s had us by their sides on their last days. So I was questioning myself why did we even choose to be here! Felt very unfortunate when we were at the receiving end of the news of their demise. 

As though to reconcile for all that, my mother dearest, had all her 3 children by her side in her last 6 days of life in the hospital. None us were traveling. None of us had anything that kept us away from her. We took turns to be by her side. And we were with her almost until she breathed her last. All 6 of her grand children were next to her. 

And her dearest daughter-in-law did not move from her side even when her 3 children kept coming in and going out. Her dedication and devotion to her mother-in-law is immeasurable. She cleaned her, administered her medicines like a thorough nurse and fed her like her own child. A solid example for how goodness begets goodness. 

Though we kept hoping she would come back home, something kept telling us, maybe not!? None of us could see her suffer so much. The tremor, her hallucinations, her restlessness, her mouth ulcers, her babbling and singing and non stop talking, her inability to even sit up by herself, her inability to recognise some of our relatives....we could not bear to see this!

At one point I did say either she comes back home in a better state of health or she dies gracefully. After all, she had had her quota of life seeing her children get settled and her grand children doing well. She had had her quota of karma in every possible way. Then why put her through this trouble?

God listened to the second part of my prayers. He liked the or clause. Unfortunate us! Nothing can replace a mother. Nothing can replace a woman so strong willed, exceptionally intelligent, abundantly talented, outrageously kind hearted. Nothing can replace my Amma!

Aruvi

After Baahubali, if there was a movie that people urged me to watch, it was #Aruvi. Thankfully, no one revealed the storyline. But people did give away a few hints and my expectations kept soaring.

My advise to all the movie lovers, never ever go by the hypes. Check it out for yourselves. Go with zero expectations.

This movie is a bold attempt. The way the story is told so swiftly is refreshing. Editing is brilliant and that adds to the swiftness. No drags. No stretches. No pulls. No commercialism. No unwanted masala. But there are tonnes of messages. Every frame carries a message if only the audience is attentive. Humor is clean and that is another big plus.

It takes a highly creative person to deal with this intense subject adding liberal doses of humor alongside. Director #ArunPrabhu, take a bow!

What a plum role for the fresh face #AditiBalan!!! She has done a good job, no doubt. But I’m unable to give her full marks. Her monologue could have got delivered much better. There was scope to emote better in a few scenes. Her physique suits the role to a T.  After a very long time, a full-fledged lady lead subject. Highly satisfying!

All supporting roles are cast perfectly. Music is good especially in the scenes where the momentum is building up.

Overall, I could complete the review of the film Aruvi thus - BOLD!!!

PS: can someone explain what this poster signifies please?

Velaikaran

What I was two-minded to watch, I ended up watching thanks to my extended family. Originally I thought it’s ok if the movie is preachy (as stated in many a review), the fun is in watching it with near and dear. But guess what? I ended up liking the movie.

Yes. #Velaikaran. I see a trend here in making of a mass hero.

Simply put, the film educates the masses on ills of consumerism. Dialogues are quite powerful and hard hitting. There are unwanted sequences. And overdone characters.

#Sivakarthikeyan - good dialogue delivery. Good acting in most parts. Does not have any scope for romance with #Nayanthara. Even the couple of scenes where romance is supposed to happen, it’s kind of matter-of-fact. No chemistry and no time to build chemistry.

Expected something more meatier for Nayan. Rohini had more screen space than Nayan. Charlie, Prakash Raj and whole host of great performers are in the cast each doing justice to their roles.

But the highlight of the movie is #FahadhFaasil. I’m as such a huge fan of him. One of the main reasons I wanted to watch this film. If at all I advice people to watch this movie it would be just for him. No actor can match the gleam and greed he displays with his eyes. Watch to believe!

Mohan Raja bets on his villains more than the heroes, I guess. Great bets! Good entertainer!!

Thaanaa SerndhaKootam

The name of the movie didn’t impress me. And to justify the name, the star says it a couple of times in the 140 minutes of the reel.

Suriya looks fitter and handsome.  And has performed well. Ramya Krishnan is a riot. Super talented and gorgeous looking woman. Keerthy Suresh is overshadowed by RK. In many places, we do laugh out loud. Karthik has not performed in such a role earlier. So that was refreshing. But guess he can deliver dialogues only in a certain style. IMHO, that style didn’t suit the character he portrayed. #TSK revolves around the concept of “fixing problems using the same tools that created the problems in the first place”. As we say in Tamil, “Mulla mullala edukkanum” funda. Good thinking but as in all such movies that preach about how to change our society for good, this one also will just remain as a far fetched imagination.

#VigneshShivan excels as a Writer-Director. He knows how to bundle the heaviest of scenes in a light-weight manner. Kudos!

#Anirudh’s music was enjoyable. Good job!

Overall, for some rib-tickling and thought-provoking 3 hours, worth a watch!

Hichki

Melodramatic in small portions, emotional in some others, quite predictable lines of story - but leaves you thinking and teary-eyed. That is #Hichki. 

In an otherwise routine story with the spin of RTE, the story tellers add to the mix a “wanna be teacher” struggling with Tourette Syndrome. Now that makes it intriguing. How will she manage to hold any class?

Not one dull moment. No unnecessary song and dance. Songs travel with the film and the story. No aberrations. Other than Rani Mukherjee all actors are either debuts or from theatres. So performance is solid through and through. No one fails. Not even 9F!

Kudos to Rani Mukherjee! Though her age shows up, her tinkling eyes and sweet smile remain ever green. She has done a fantastic job of living Ms. Naina Mathur every frame of the film. The scene she breaks down is very touchingly portrayed. 

Overall, a movie that would really move you! Don’t miss.