Lachu Paati - The 'Super' Woman!

Have you heard of an 88 year old lady watching 20-20 with all enthusiasm amidst the soaps that keep running on the other channels? Have you come across such an old person trying to ‘make’ herself ‘up’ before someone comes home or she is to visit someone? Have you noticed any one at this stage wanting to sing all the songs that she has learnt from her childhood (including some nursery rhymes – King Kapeech Va, “Home they brought her warrior dead” by Alfred Tennyson)? Have you seen such an old woman wanting to learn computers (games – not how to play but how to code!), dividends, debentures, share markets, forensic science and what not?

Welcome to the world of this ‘Super Woman’ – my very own granny who we fondly call “Lachu Paati”. She is such a bundle of energy. She has to wake up at 6 (latest) in the morning and have a hot cuppa coffee just after she brushes. If it is not served, she knows to meander her way into the kitchen and make it herself. Just that she would leave her footprint by spilling sugar or pouring some of the milk down or may be just forgetting to turn off the burner! If pointed out, she would say “you could fix it, can’t you?”.

Then her bathing routine; she does not trust any of us washing her 9-yards saree. She hand-washes them herself, wears a spotless white blouse with it, has her hair neatly combed with some coconut oil applied regularly to that short, grayish-white, curly tress, which she makes a small bun of; then, applies the talcum powder to her face and believes in keeping herself presentable all the while! That is something none of her 10 grand children picked up!!

She still helps the household by plaiting our long hair, cleaning the pooja, cutting vegetables and taking care of herself. She sticks to her routine and does not like anyone tampering with it. The problem is she wants all of us to follow a routine as well.

She has studied till VII grade. She helps the smaller grand-children by teaching them Tamil & Math. But again the challenge is in keeping her away from doing their homework. She is so fast that she cannot wait for us to complete anything. She is hyper-active, to say the least! She would grab the pen/pencil from us and our notebook, do the math quickly and tell us “you would have still not completed it, left to yourself!” We feel good about the work being done but just that we would not have the courage to face our parents!

She is such a curious person. When some one calls over the phone, we curse Grahambell so much for this invention of his! She would nag us so much to get to know who has called, for what purpose, what are they saying, from where are they calling…the list of questions is endless. She would not even wait until we put the phone down. She wants ‘real’-time updates (as and when we speak).

Once she asked me to explain how the gaming software “Prince” was coded! OMG!! She troubled me so much with so many questions that I found it difficult to answer. And finally, she said, “Don’t call yourself an engineer. You fit for nothing!” I wish she would go onsite as a consultant for one of the critical engagements J I am sure the customer would scoot!

When my brother was trying hard to understand the basics in accounting sitting with my Company Secretary father, she stopped by for a while and asked “Kanna (my father’s name), how is debenture different from dividend?” My brother felt so inferior in comparison to her knowledge levels.

Before she picks up any topic on the criminal novels that she reads, we try to vanish into thin air simply because she would chase us with a quiver full of questions on “Forensic science”.

And an all time favourite question of hers for us is when she was intently watching a cricket match and asked my brother “Enda, Kumble vera, Kambli veraiya?” (meaning are Kumble and Kambli 2 different people).

God save us from this sweet but nagging devil! We love her thirst for knowledge even at this stage and the way she carries herself! You are great, Paati!

Japanese Hospitality

Have any of you been through “Japanese hospitality”? And that too, in India? Those were the days when US was considered not just an ‘on-site’ but as an almost ‘out-of-reach’ for many. I had in all about 3 years work experience. I was nominated as a “Lead” for a Japanese project. Then, in those days (about a decade back), Japan was also considered a cool, on-site! I was excited to be the lead and I would only call myself a ‘Project Coordinator’ for the fear of losing my peers’ friendship!

The project involved translating a particular MRP software from Japanese to English. The systems were not on any network. We had to “laplink” data from one machine to another. It was grueling, to say the least. We had to translate some 500 odd forms to English with the help of some Japanese translators who worked round the clock with us, the technical team.

The last stage of wrapping up and the client was here in India to see the close of the project. Her name was ‘Makato Miyachi’, a Filipino. She looked like a doll and used to be clad in business formals (skirt). She looked very smart. In those days, the craving to get noticed by or talk to ‘fair-skinned’ people was more! :-D I was introduced to her as the ‘Lead’. My pride knew no bounds!

She gifted me with a box carefully wrapped in silver color paper. All my peers were gazing at me and were all green! I took the box and secretively hid it with my belongings. Evening, I left early that day. I took this box home with all the pride in my face as though I have won the Oscars! I did not let my siblings touch it. After my Pa came from work, I showed this to him and started unwrapping.

It was a chocolate-brown box full of…Japanese biscuits! They looked yummy!! But being the strict orthodox veggies at home, my father frowned and left it to us! May be he expected some thing else inside? May be not any eatable?? Anyway, I was busy inspecting which one to taste first. Since it was ‘mine’, I said I had the rights to taste this first. Then, I took one biscuit and put it in my mouth. My face went pale. It is ok to have tasteless stuff but how do people manage to eat this raw-smelling/tasting thing and call it a biscuit! I was so disappointed about the ‘foreign’ biscuit. My brother was smart. Seeing my reaction, he said, “after all you have worked for it, please have this for all 3 courses of the days to come”. I then gracefully said that I must share it with my team mates as they all have slogged it with me! And, I closed the box!!

The next day, I called upon my peers to have this. Though they all teased me for taking it home the previous day, no one denied taking the biscuits. But the first bite, each one went back to their places :-)

Then our Makato Miyachi asked me how I liked the biscuits. I had to say they were “out of the world” though I wanted to say “out of the window”. Then she offered me the same biscuits during tea. I refused saying she has given me enough. :-( She would not listen. She forced it in my hand. I pretended to eat that junk and dropped it on the floor (as though by mistake) and said “Oh God! I dropped it”. She immediately said, “Do not worry! I have enough. Here, please take a few more!” I admired her hospitality but for heaven's sake she could have spared me...if only I could have run away, I would have done that. I almost cried as I ate the second one and my whole team was standing around the cubicle, peeking at me and giggling!! :-(

From that day on, I started referring to Makato Miyachi as “makku dhan Meenatchi” (meaning Meenakshi is dumb). :-)

Don’t ask me what happened to the project… it is better left unsaid….

If only we had these cross-cultural trainings then, I would have done better with this customer. Huh!