Lachu Paati - The 'Super' Woman!

Have you heard of an 88 year old lady watching 20-20 with all enthusiasm amidst the soaps that keep running on the other channels? Have you come across such an old person trying to ‘make’ herself ‘up’ before someone comes home or she is to visit someone? Have you noticed any one at this stage wanting to sing all the songs that she has learnt from her childhood (including some nursery rhymes – King Kapeech Va, “Home they brought her warrior dead” by Alfred Tennyson)? Have you seen such an old woman wanting to learn computers (games – not how to play but how to code!), dividends, debentures, share markets, forensic science and what not?

Welcome to the world of this ‘Super Woman’ – my very own granny who we fondly call “Lachu Paati”. She is such a bundle of energy. She has to wake up at 6 (latest) in the morning and have a hot cuppa coffee just after she brushes. If it is not served, she knows to meander her way into the kitchen and make it herself. Just that she would leave her footprint by spilling sugar or pouring some of the milk down or may be just forgetting to turn off the burner! If pointed out, she would say “you could fix it, can’t you?”.

Then her bathing routine; she does not trust any of us washing her 9-yards saree. She hand-washes them herself, wears a spotless white blouse with it, has her hair neatly combed with some coconut oil applied regularly to that short, grayish-white, curly tress, which she makes a small bun of; then, applies the talcum powder to her face and believes in keeping herself presentable all the while! That is something none of her 10 grand children picked up!!

She still helps the household by plaiting our long hair, cleaning the pooja, cutting vegetables and taking care of herself. She sticks to her routine and does not like anyone tampering with it. The problem is she wants all of us to follow a routine as well.

She has studied till VII grade. She helps the smaller grand-children by teaching them Tamil & Math. But again the challenge is in keeping her away from doing their homework. She is so fast that she cannot wait for us to complete anything. She is hyper-active, to say the least! She would grab the pen/pencil from us and our notebook, do the math quickly and tell us “you would have still not completed it, left to yourself!” We feel good about the work being done but just that we would not have the courage to face our parents!

She is such a curious person. When some one calls over the phone, we curse Grahambell so much for this invention of his! She would nag us so much to get to know who has called, for what purpose, what are they saying, from where are they calling…the list of questions is endless. She would not even wait until we put the phone down. She wants ‘real’-time updates (as and when we speak).

Once she asked me to explain how the gaming software “Prince” was coded! OMG!! She troubled me so much with so many questions that I found it difficult to answer. And finally, she said, “Don’t call yourself an engineer. You fit for nothing!” I wish she would go onsite as a consultant for one of the critical engagements J I am sure the customer would scoot!

When my brother was trying hard to understand the basics in accounting sitting with my Company Secretary father, she stopped by for a while and asked “Kanna (my father’s name), how is debenture different from dividend?” My brother felt so inferior in comparison to her knowledge levels.

Before she picks up any topic on the criminal novels that she reads, we try to vanish into thin air simply because she would chase us with a quiver full of questions on “Forensic science”.

And an all time favourite question of hers for us is when she was intently watching a cricket match and asked my brother “Enda, Kumble vera, Kambli veraiya?” (meaning are Kumble and Kambli 2 different people).

God save us from this sweet but nagging devil! We love her thirst for knowledge even at this stage and the way she carries herself! You are great, Paati!

Japanese Hospitality

Have any of you been through “Japanese hospitality”? And that too, in India? Those were the days when US was considered not just an ‘on-site’ but as an almost ‘out-of-reach’ for many. I had in all about 3 years work experience. I was nominated as a “Lead” for a Japanese project. Then, in those days (about a decade back), Japan was also considered a cool, on-site! I was excited to be the lead and I would only call myself a ‘Project Coordinator’ for the fear of losing my peers’ friendship!

The project involved translating a particular MRP software from Japanese to English. The systems were not on any network. We had to “laplink” data from one machine to another. It was grueling, to say the least. We had to translate some 500 odd forms to English with the help of some Japanese translators who worked round the clock with us, the technical team.

The last stage of wrapping up and the client was here in India to see the close of the project. Her name was ‘Makato Miyachi’, a Filipino. She looked like a doll and used to be clad in business formals (skirt). She looked very smart. In those days, the craving to get noticed by or talk to ‘fair-skinned’ people was more! :-D I was introduced to her as the ‘Lead’. My pride knew no bounds!

She gifted me with a box carefully wrapped in silver color paper. All my peers were gazing at me and were all green! I took the box and secretively hid it with my belongings. Evening, I left early that day. I took this box home with all the pride in my face as though I have won the Oscars! I did not let my siblings touch it. After my Pa came from work, I showed this to him and started unwrapping.

It was a chocolate-brown box full of…Japanese biscuits! They looked yummy!! But being the strict orthodox veggies at home, my father frowned and left it to us! May be he expected some thing else inside? May be not any eatable?? Anyway, I was busy inspecting which one to taste first. Since it was ‘mine’, I said I had the rights to taste this first. Then, I took one biscuit and put it in my mouth. My face went pale. It is ok to have tasteless stuff but how do people manage to eat this raw-smelling/tasting thing and call it a biscuit! I was so disappointed about the ‘foreign’ biscuit. My brother was smart. Seeing my reaction, he said, “after all you have worked for it, please have this for all 3 courses of the days to come”. I then gracefully said that I must share it with my team mates as they all have slogged it with me! And, I closed the box!!

The next day, I called upon my peers to have this. Though they all teased me for taking it home the previous day, no one denied taking the biscuits. But the first bite, each one went back to their places :-)

Then our Makato Miyachi asked me how I liked the biscuits. I had to say they were “out of the world” though I wanted to say “out of the window”. Then she offered me the same biscuits during tea. I refused saying she has given me enough. :-( She would not listen. She forced it in my hand. I pretended to eat that junk and dropped it on the floor (as though by mistake) and said “Oh God! I dropped it”. She immediately said, “Do not worry! I have enough. Here, please take a few more!” I admired her hospitality but for heaven's sake she could have spared me...if only I could have run away, I would have done that. I almost cried as I ate the second one and my whole team was standing around the cubicle, peeking at me and giggling!! :-(

From that day on, I started referring to Makato Miyachi as “makku dhan Meenatchi” (meaning Meenakshi is dumb). :-)

Don’t ask me what happened to the project… it is better left unsaid….

If only we had these cross-cultural trainings then, I would have done better with this customer. Huh!

Theatre accident

Yet another college episode…

Theatre accidents are common during rehearsals…but what would happen if the accident happens as the play is going on and live audience watching (rather hearing) it?? Read on…

This was a Tamil play for 2.5 hrs!

The story was about how a guy goes behind wealth and ditches the girl he eloped with. The girl is helpless and finally finds refuge with one of the neighborhood sincere fella with the help of her ex-boyfriend’s friend! We were well-rehearsed and pretty professional by any amateur standards.

The stage used to be made by us, students. The raw stage would have partitions displaying a rich house on one side and the other side had an elevation to show a middle-class house with the ground floor occupied by the owner (ex-boyfriend’s friend) and the elevated first floor by the tenant (neighborhood sincere fella).

The stage was beautifully set up. The elevation was given by placing cots on top of each other. We had given a 5 cot level elevation. The height would measure up to some 15 feet above stage level!!!

Climax…the owner of the house (ex-boyfriend’s friend) to help this ditched, desolate girl tries to convince his sincere, single tenant guy to give her life by marrying her. My friend and co-actor, Dhaaru, did an exemplary job of displaying an array of emotions in convincing the other actor, KG. Once done, he was supposed to come down running, to let me (I was the lady-cast) know that his tenant has agreed to marry me.

The staircase runs behind the stage from the elevation, to the stage level. I was expecting Dhaaru next to me anytime and was all set to display an emotional outbreak. But all I heard was (and the audience too!) a huge ‘THUD’ sound! Dhaaru had fallen from the 15 feet level!. Instead of climbing down the stairs he had landed straight on the stage behind the curtains!! I was so shocked & nervous but could not show that. The play had gone on well so far. I was hoping nothing untoward had happened! I could hear the audience whisper, “hey, Dhaaru has fallen off the elevation”…there was so much silence in the auditorium!

Then appeared our fallen hero…panting, huffing, puffing, limping and leaping…to complete his dialogues! The play went on well till completion.

After the play, we heard him narrate what had happened. He said “Thankfully, my rotund body helped land safely!” What a sport!! And…thank God!

Fairer sex in the board?

Cross-posted from my blogpost inside my company...
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Tamil Nadu SSLC results were announced today. Girls have topped across the state. Makes me think…when girls could top the ‘board’ why is that we have very negligible women population in our ‘board’ rooms?

Women are meticuluous, sincere, hard-working, great team makers, intelligent, tech-savvy, studious and what not?! What makes that population wear-off as they enter the work force?

At the bottom of the pyramid, we have almost an equal ratio of men:women. Very soon, may be that would change and women would be more there than the men. As we go up the ladder, women fizzle out and then become almost invisible at the ‘board’? What skills do women lack to reach there? Can the system produce only one Indra Nooyi? only one Kiran Bedi? only one Chanda Kochar? one Barkha Dutt?

Where is the problem? The attitude of these women? Their families’ support? Society’s suppression? Men dominance? Where is the problem really?

Research says that women make better managers and CxOs. They bring in so much harmony. They focus better on deals than the men. So where and why are we missing that smart lot in the board rooms?

Nothing is impossible! But…Calculus?!

Most of us would have dealt with this dreary subject called ‘Calculus’. We at college did so too! In life, one can fight only against one’s equal oppositions. You should not fight if you are stronger than the opposition. And…you should not try fighting if you know your opposition is stronger. This is my understanding of the ‘Uddha Dharma’. Yet, for me, Calculus was stronger and I was forced to fight itL. No Dharma could work here!

This happened in my college again. Though we had this subject as part of our 11th and 12th classes, the choice system helped me escape this subject. Ignorance was bliss only until 12th class. The very first semester, Calculus was one full fledged course for us in college! Readers can imagine my plight!

Even before I could understand the system of cycle tests and comprehensive examinations, surprise quizzes and the grading that followed, I was into a maze…totally lost! The first ‘surprise’ quiz in Calculus was such a ‘surprise’ to me (and some of my other class mates). The biggest surprise was yet to come! The quiz had negative marking. I was in oblivion and did not bother to know any of these. I attempted ALL the questions with such sincerity. When the marks came by, it beat all records in my college. It was -2 on 10!!!! I was for the very first time (and until now the last) negatively marked for my performance. L

Then as the semester went by I tried my best to crack at least one cycle test in Cal (that’s how we called it). But to my dismay, I could really not break through. It was time for our “Comprehensive” examinations. This was for 40 marks. Which means, we had already finished the 60 marks over the quizzes and tests over the semester. I knew what my mark(s) were (was?) on 60! Yet, I went to check the ‘pre-com’ scores on the notice board. There was a huge group of students that crowded around the notice board to check their scores. May be they found it difficult to sum up their scores in all the tests/quizzes in Cal., I wondered in awe! I should appreciate my guts. I was also there with them. One guy exclaimed, “Hey, look at this! Someone has scored just 1 on 60!!” I thanked my stars that names were not displayed on the NB. The marks were put up against our Student Ids.

I slowly traced my steps back and was filled with remorse. Now, if I did not roll up my sleeves and crack the final exam, I would have to do a summer term and clear this subject. I dreaded that thought. I put all my efforts (and my smart friends had to put twice that to drill the concepts into my dull-head) and prepared for the finals.

As luck would have it, the climax was good and glorious! J I actually got emotional seeing my score… I had cleared the paper with a solid 10 marks on 40!!! I thanked the CGPA system. Had it been our usual system of grading & ranking…may be I would still be in college trying to clear the demon ‘Calculus’…

Parenting & Management - any resemblance?

Should we treat our children like our team members OR should we treat our team members like our children? I have found that most times emotional approaches do work with both categories. They stay bonded with you for long even if they MUST leave the project/place that they share with you.
Usually, we are asked not to spoon-feed kids and allow them to make mistakes and learn their own lessons. In the corporate world, we only have to make sure that we dont commit many costly mistakes. Everyone feels they have achieved only if they are given the freedom to experiment and show results.
I used to tell my son that I had a mobile primarily because I wanted to hear him when he is back from school. I also found myself telling my team members, that when I am away, it is to hear their stories that I carry a mobile.
I used to criticize my son in private lest he get insulted in front of all. Do we not apply this in management as well?
Lavish approbation when he does something worth praising in public makes him feel so motivated and encouraged. Team members?…likewise!
Ya. I know we do not have formal appraisals for our children but if we did, it would only open room for conversation and better understanding.
In all, any human would only like to be treated that way. It does not matter if he/she is your child, peer, subordinate, neighbour, parent, brother, sister, et al!!! All that it takes is good managerial skills.

Are you Masculine or Feminine?

For a long time now, I have been thinking that I should patent this idea. Do share your views on whether the idea I am proposing is worth the trouble.

A child is born on this earth as a Male or a Female. We, otherwise, say the baby’s gender is a ‘M’ or an ‘F’. The baby grows into a boy or a girl then becomes a man or a woman. Now, where does this topic of ‘masculinity’ or ‘feminity’ come into picture? Every human being has some qualities of the other gender. Some men possess more feminine qualities and some women, masculine. There is nothing right or wrong about this. It is only natural.

There is nothing to feel proud if a woman has masculine qualities and nothing to laugh about if a man behaves like a lady at times.But I have come across some women teasing other women if they are too ‘boyish’ or ‘masculine’. And vice versa…I strongly think we should stop this. What say?

Why I thought of patenting this idea may be a question on your minds. Recently, I attended a NASSCOM training for Women in IT. The trainers were talking about Masculine work and Feminine work in the context of Time Management. I thought I should at least let a few people know that I have thought in these lines already. Just in case this concept becomes popular, you would know that there was this soul which researched on this subject!!!

BTW, what are you? Man or a woman? Masculine or Feminine? J

Who scared who?

This incident happened some 15 years back. I was in my college final semester. We were deputed for training in New Delhi for 6 months. My friends had taken up the out-house of an independent house on rent. Now in this house, they raised a ferocious dog for a pet! It always used to be tied up. But even then, as I enter the gate, the horrible, fearsome barking sound of this dog used to send chills down my spine.
On this particular Sunday, after lunch, we 3 friends went back home. First, one of our friends, walked in opening the gate. I followed him with the confidence that the dog should be tied up as usual. Suddenly, I heard the barking sound and the pouncing beast almost on me! One can imagine my plight! I took to my heels shouting "someone....help me!!!"....it was a scream...a real, loud one...my whole body was shaking terribly in fear....I ran up to the friend who was walking in front of me, held him, shook him, turned him around and tried to hide behind him. I was screaming all through and shivering!! I had seen death in close circles…
For a moment, the dog stopped, stared at me strangely! May be it had never got this kind of a response ever in its life. It stood frozen there for a while. Then, as though nothing had happened, it just shook itself and walked back to its place!
It took at least a few minutes before I could calm down. Readers wondering what happened to the 3rd friend who was behind me? Well, he saw the dog, he saw me, he immediately closed himself outside the gate!
BTW, I am married this hero now! :-) May be that day he thought, "If she could scare such a ferocious dog away, then what should I fear in life, if I am married to her?"

Kabir Bedi OR Kiran Bedi?

Those were my initial days in DSQ. Just out of college…I hardly had any industry exposure or experience. But I used to be a bundle of energy (even now I sometimes feel, I am more energetic than some college fresh grads!). I knew nothing on IT or Computers! But was radiating with confidence…had a lot of guts to question anything and everything under the sky…truly I was in a state of what you call (ignorance is) bliss!

Readers please note that right from the time I started talking as a kid till this date, I have this disease of ‘verbal’ diarrhea. No medication works. Even the strongest medication was tried (my hubby’s rude advice and criticism which ended up in ‘Mouna vrat’ for a few days… I mean he refused to speak to me). Nothing works! L

One of our senior VPs, who was impressed with my articulation of thoughts and (a few) ideas, called me to meet him one-on-one. May be he liked my energy?! I am still wondering what made him call me because I am sure he repents it till today J

He was asking me what my aim in life was and what ambitions I had. I was so excited that such a senior person was talking to me. He asked me what I wanted to become. I was (in full-flow) telling him very animatedly all the people I admire. I said I liked Jayalalitha’s courage in dealing with issues. So far, so good! Then, I said, I wanted to become like ‘Kabir Bedi’….

See, now, don’t laugh at me! I told you I was excited. Least, did I think that growing a beard would be a challenge! I just spurt it out but realized I made some mistake somewhere. My VP had a twitched brow, a face full of question marks and very hesitantly, he asked “You mean, er, hm, Kiran Bedi?”. Knowing girls of this age, may be he was unsure if I really wanted a gender change or I had made a mistake. I was magnanimous enough to admit that it was just a slip of the tongue (it was a slide, not a slip!). I retorted “Yes, yes, the same Bedi!” with a very ‘matter-of-fact’ look on my face. He then breathed a sigh of relief… He then quickly concluded the conversation and let me go.

The next I heard about him was when he had quit DSQ in a week’s time after that. Now, don’t blame me for it! I am innocent…

Why Processes? - Contd...

Part 3:

Since we can’t leave tasks to be performed differently by different individuals, we try to streamline activities by framing processes around them.

But, why is quality always looked at as ‘documentation’ or an overload of that? Why should we document? Is there any relationship between ‘process-focus’ and ‘documentation’ at all? Do we need SEI or ISO to tell us we are process-oriented? Why?

Let us take the example of your mother making ‘Dal’ or some delicious ‘Sambar’ in her kitchen…

She has the process ‘institutionalized’ in herself. She is habituated to making it a thousand times. Hence, she need not go through a manual or look at a written down process. She knows clearly what she is doing.

On the other hand, you/your wife/sister/brother want to emulate her cooking skills. You need to note down (document?!) the process, follow it a few times until you become an expert!

Alternatively, you could watch her and repeat the steps. But that is not scalable! You can’t really pass it on to the others who may want the recipe…

That is exactly what we do in business. We have some experts. They have tried and tested many recipes for successful projects. They have documented all that worked (and those that did not too!). If they had not documented or felt lethargic about it, we would be reinventing the wheel now! What a waste of everything it would have been?!

Now, you may ask me, why do I have to document my own project-related details (why a requirements document, a design doc and a test plan)? Well, wait for me to continue on more ‘whys’…

Why Processes?

Part 1:

Those of you who have ‘worked’ with me ;-) would know how much I philosophize on this subject. The main reason being, all the quality manuals/policies/procedure documents/guidelines/templates of any company would have loads and loads of information on How/What/When/Which/Where/Who and what not? But, there would not be any mention on “Why we need these processes”. May be the Quality Evangelists always thought that this is a silly question. And, it is “understood”.

The fact of the matter is, unless we face a challenging situation, we never realize, as practitioners, “Why” we need these processes.

Without asking a “Why” knowledge is not complete. For those of you who follow Tamil and have watched our evergreen “Puratchi Thalaivar” singing “En endra kelvi ingu ketkamal vazhkai illai” (translated “there is no life if we do not ask the question why”).

Asking a why enriches the knowledge by making one understand the rhyme and reason for every theory/concept/action.

So, again, WHY processes?
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Part 2:

There are successful small-timers who do not have processes. But they have to have the same set of people executing the projects.

So, first step, we need processes so that what person A does very well is repeatable by person B (and all the others), in more or less the same precision as person A. This is the baby step towards becoming BIG. Avoid ‘people-dependency’.

Else, we would stay in that ’small-timer’ position until we breathe our last.

However, the choice is yours! Do you want to grow “BIG” or remain where you are and be contented with that? Ask yourself…

More to come…

My Blog Post Categories

I plan to categorzie my posts under the following headings? Makes sense?

1. Fun 'n' Frolic
2. Processes
3. Project Management
4. Team Building
5. Communication
6. Personality Development

Any modifications required?

Manager? Whats the big deal?

Why should there be so much hype about 'Managers'? We all are managers in our own respect, aren't we? Let me tell you how.

When you are a team member (does not matter if you are a developer or a tester), you need to 'manage' your code/testing with the time allotted and the quality expected. Other than this you also need to manage very well your peer groups, coffee sessions, luncheons, outings - all this and more without creating a dent on your work! Though your official responsibility ends ONLY with your work, since what you do is the 'core' of software services, there is so much more responsibility on you!!

When you become a 'Lead', you once again 'manage' your time with your deliverables, deadlines, quality, teams, management, personal life, et al. Here you are held responsible not only for your work but also that of your teams.

The 'Manager' is a little more loaded because for no fault of his, he can actually be punished. So, if the manager is smart, he will know how to delegate work to the right people and stay in peace. This is the main challenge as a Manager. If this hurdle is crossed, then what is the big deal being a 'Manager'?

Thought will pick your brains on this.

My first interview…a debacle!

Last semester in the college; lots of campus interview schedules were posted on the notice boards. Friends had all of a sudden turned competitors in life. Everything looked challenging and strange. A whole host of Aptitude Tests, GDs (no, not my name…I meant the Group Discussions), Tech Interviews and Personal Interviews were happening all around. There were shouts of joy and ramblings of disappointments…

I was nervous. I had to attend interviews too. But I had stumbling blocks in the Aptis and GDs (you see, GDs in any form is a pain!). There was this company (anonymity maintained, so that my reputation is saved!) who had called for an interview first. So there I was in my first interview without having to undergo (and fail) any of the tests and discussions.

At the appointed hour, I presented myself, in front of the interview panel. It was a 4 member team. The job was for a ‘Marketing’ position. I have always been proud of my gift of the gab! So I was sure to talk my way through.

After the initial round of introductions and background stories (in which I gave an exemplary performance), one of the interviewers asked me (straight in my eye): “What would you propose as a marketing strategy for marketing product x in India?” I am not joking but I could kind of feel my head spin. I thought, and thought and thought…then I said. “Look, I have a mental block. I am unable to answer this question.”

I guess the interviewer empathized with me. He asked me to sip the water from the glass kept there and asked me some other ‘general’ questions about our campus-life and degree and all that. I was so bright in answering all these questions. Then after a few minutes, another guy shot the second question “What are the various marketing techniques that you have come across?” Once again, I went blank… Once again, I had the same feeling of my head-spinning…Once again, I thought, and thought and thought…Once again, I said (a little bit apologetically), “See, I have a mental block. Can I answer this question after sometime?” The panel members looked at each other. I felt like killing myself as I knew very well that look meant “What the hell is she here for?”

They were growing impatient with my ‘mental block’. So again a couple of other light-weight questions/discussions. By now, the third interviewer asked me “Now, let me give you a case study. Let us say, your area is not yielding results in marketing product y. How will you approach this problem and meet your targets?” Needless to say, I said the same words again, shamelessly.

The panel now became silent. Now they asked me if I had any questions. If I had had the experience that I have today, I would have understood what that meant. But so gullible that I was, that I asked them “Do I stand a chance to be offered an appointment in your esteemed organization?”

The look that the interviewers gave me now, conveyed that my ‘mental block’ was transferred to them… if only they had had the power to bring me down to ashes, I am sure they would have done that. Thankfully, I escaped!!!

Puff...puff...here comes my first post...

Thanks all who encouraged me to start my own blog. Incidentally, I also attended a forum on techniques of good writing. Some experts kept insisting writing is Science. I strongly disagreed, though! It has to be an ART! Otherwise, how come all those who top their Science papers in school do not usually come out well in their Literature papers?! If a Research Scientist could also write gripping tales, he is really a gifted person. Well, well...my first post is not about whether Writing is an Art or a Science... it is just a launch post...

I would be talking about projects and the goof-ups, some fun stories from my personal life, some of my friends, some incidents which left a deep impact in me, when I cried most, when I laughed most and what not? Welcome all to the world of GD!