I am alright!

I am alright!

This is what my mother said whenever we asked her, “How are you, ma?” 

Even as a child, I recall how many times my mom had to get hospitalised either because she was dehydrated or anemic. In those times, we didn’t realise the gravity of the poor health of our parents. We were so much in oblivion and to ourselves. We knew that she will soon be doing her 18 hour chores. When we heard her respond to people checking on her health, she would always say, “I am alright!”  For a 10th Grader, her accent in English and her style of saying that with conviction, will even make the doctor attending on her think, “Does she really have a problem!”

As we grew to be teenagers and college-goers, we did not have the time to ask her how she was. Children are selfish. They don’t realise what their parents have to go through to see them achieve their goals. She did fall sick but since we were sure she will be “alright”, we had no worries. 

Time flew! We all got married off and went our ways. My brother and she lived a simple & peaceful life  in Mumbai. She found a simpler daughter-in-law who remained her biggest blessing all her life. What we daughters did not know was how much my mom missed her hubby who she had lost to kidney failure even when he was just 58! We thought she had a peaceful life with my brother and was strong to tide over any grief. When we used to call her rarely and ask about her well-being, the same response, “I’m alright!”

Six years ago she came back to Chennai with my brother and family and stayed only a couple of kms away from me. She was affected by Parkinson’s and we did not know what was in store for us. But every 6-8 months she had some health challenge and was admitted to the hospital, she would always smile and say, “I’m alright!”

The first time in all my memory of her, she never said, “I’m alright” was when she had decided to leave this world. A few weeks back she had a bout of low sugar episodes. She got hospitalised. She was in the hospital for 6 days exactly. I tried asking her in many different ways how she’s coping. Not once did I hear her say, “I’m alright!”  I knew intuitively that this is ominous. It has never happened. Something is wrong. And all my fears were justified when the doctor declared her dead on 1st of April. She did not fool us by saying she’s alright. She did not deceive us by giving false hopes. She knew she was NOT ALRIGHT. When will we see her again and ask her, “How are you, ma?”