Bright red bindi on her forehead. Tinkling, gleaming eyes. Diamond nose-rings shining on her beautiful, sharp nose. Well structured teeth always smiling. Simple saree clad. Neatly combed hair, though scanty, made into a nice bun. Active and hyper active are the only two states that we have seen of her until her last few days.
Super independent. Boss. Coach. Mentor. Problem solver. Lyricist. Vocalist. Veena player. Composer. Music Teacher. Daughter. Sister. Wife. Daughter-in-law, Sister-in-law. Mother. Grand Mother. Cook. Washerwoman. Cleaner.
One of my deep rooted fears got busted on 1st of April. One of my many plans worked well.
Giving up opportunities outside India was more to be with our parents and siblings. When parents aged, my conviction to continue our stay in India/Chennai increased. But as luck would have neither my father nor Jayan’s had us by their sides on their last days. So I was questioning myself why did we even choose to be here! Felt very unfortunate when we were at the receiving end of the news of their demise.
As though to reconcile for all that, my mother dearest, had all her 3 children by her side in her last 6 days of life in the hospital. None us were traveling. None of us had anything that kept us away from her. We took turns to be by her side. And we were with her almost until she breathed her last. All 6 of her grand children were next to her.
And her dearest daughter-in-law did not move from her side even when her 3 children kept coming in and going out. Her dedication and devotion to her mother-in-law is immeasurable. She cleaned her, administered her medicines like a thorough nurse and fed her like her own child. A solid example for how goodness begets goodness.
Though we kept hoping she would come back home, something kept telling us, maybe not!? None of us could see her suffer so much. The tremor, her hallucinations, her restlessness, her mouth ulcers, her babbling and singing and non stop talking, her inability to even sit up by herself, her inability to recognise some of our relatives....we could not bear to see this!
At one point I did say either she comes back home in a better state of health or she dies gracefully. After all, she had had her quota of life seeing her children get settled and her grand children doing well. She had had her quota of karma in every possible way. Then why put her through this trouble?
God listened to the second part of my prayers. He liked the or clause. Unfortunate us! Nothing can replace a mother. Nothing can replace a woman so strong willed, exceptionally intelligent, abundantly talented, outrageously kind hearted. Nothing can replace my Amma!
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