2 dozen maids and still going strong…

I had (and still have) my own selfish reasons for not settling in any other part of the world. Not that I had a red carpet in any country, but just chose not to move out of India. Call it comfort zone or whatever! My knowledge is limited and am not sure if any other part of the world would have so much support at the domestic front for lazy bones like me!

There is a laundry guy who comes to collect our washed clothes, there is a milk-supplier who drops the sachets early in morning (or evening as the case may be), then there are drivers/chauffeurs, we have a guy who flings the newspapers/magazines at our door step every morning, gardeners, plumbers, carpenters, electricians, then you have the veggie vendors, some essential goods’ suppliers and a whole host of services offered at our very door step. And, all these services at throw-away prices!!! For those whiners amidst you, who complain about India, think of all this luxury…which other world can provide you all this and much more? ;-)

While all other services are luxury, having a maid or two at home to help you with domestic chores has become a must these days. I do not want to blame our job patterns and hence our busy schedules for the growing demand of maids. This is because, I have also observed maids being employed at houses where the lady (or the man) of the house is unemployed! The reason may be (as I try to figure it out), we have more than what we need, in every aspect of life. That’s ok! What else are we slogging for? Right?!

I have digressed so much from the core of the issue that I set to address in this post. Maids! Yeah…Maids!! No, no. Please do not think that this is some kind of a tribute to the maids of the world. It would rather be the other way round.

Maids have become such an important part of almost all house-holds - whether the families are big or small, whether there are bachelors or spinsters staying with friends or alone. You name it and the house would employ at least one maid.

What a challenge could these human-beings become in our otherwise routine, mundane lifestyles! In my over a decade and above married life, we would have employed about 2 dozen or more (I lost count) maids so far. “Why so many?”, you may wonder. The rest of this post will give you the answers.

This is one employee-employer relationship where the employer is at risk all the time! Job opportunities are plenty for these ‘skilled’ employees, so we better handle with care. In fact, the rate at which we change maids at home, I have my nephew asking me, “How long will this ‘avatar’ last?” (Obviously referring to the new maid as the ‘avatar’). We, at home have this unique problem of seeing only the positives only in the first two days of employment. The third day morning either my MIL or my SIL or my FIL or one other member of the family would start whining and lamenting about the new arrival’s tantrums. If all are happy, I start smelling something ‘fishy’!

The clichéd phrase “more the merrier” fails miserably when you try to employ more than one thinking it is any kind of risk mitigation. Caution - it will only work the other way around.
As a matter of fact, I am so experienced in this subject now that I can write a book on “How to select, train, engage, retain/sack maids?” (For the dummies of course!).

Maids come in all size, shapes, behaviors, characteristics…some cannot come early in the morning and some cannot come in the evenings…some cannot stay for a whole 5 hour routine while some others cannot leave our house at all…some understand every word of what we speak and try to trouble us with their over-smartness…some do not understand even the most basic of instructions…some want the TV to be turned on (preferably dish channels) as they are working…some want only music to be on (some FM channel)…some want to make calls to their ‘near-and-dear’ from our land lines and some carry a mobile of their own (look at the technology reach!)….some don’t stop talking and some don’t answer any questions asked…some will eat food made at our house but only fresh and hot and some others would not want to even smell the food we make…some come dressed like they were contesting fashion shows, putting our dressing sense to shame while some others make us wonder if they know anything at all about personal hygiene and cleanliness…some also go that extra mile of giving us news on the neighborhood and rest assured your stories are also broadcast in other houses…this list is endless!

My,oh,my! Why does God not create the perfect maids for each of us who would want to employ one (or two, may be!)??? Is that asking for too much? God knows…oops…sorry…Maids know…

அனுராதா ரமணணுடன் ஒரு நாள்...

விப்ரோ நிறுவனம் சேர்ந்து ஒன்றரை மாதங்கள் நகர்ந்து விட்டன. அன்று 20th Feb. நரஸி என்று ஒரு விப்ரோ நண்பர் என்னை போன்ல கூப்பிட்டார். இன்னும் ப்ரொஜெக்ட் தொடங்காதபடியால் பயங்கர free ஆக இருந்தேன். நரஸி எடுத்தவுடன், "GD, நாம Pen & Paper Club ன்னு ஒண்ணு ஆரம்பிக்கப்போறோம். எழுதறவங்கள ஊகுவிக்க. அதுக்காக நாளைக்கு ஒரு inauguration. Chief Guest ஆ எழுத்தாளர் திருமதி. அனுராதா ரமணண் மேடமை கூப்பிட்டு இருக்கோம்.அவங்களை அவங்க வீட்லேர்ந்து கூட்டிகிட்டு வரணும். முதல்ல நம்ம ஷங்கர் தான் போறதா இருந்தார். ஆன திடீர்னு அவருக்கு எதோ அவசர வேல வந்திடுச்சு. அதனால உங்கள request பண்ணிக்கலாம்னு..." நரஸி இன்னும் வாக்கியத்த முழுசா முடிக்கவே இல்ல அதுக்குள்ள நான், "என்ன நரஸி இது? கரும்பு தின்ன கூலியா? நான் எதுக்கு இருக்கேன்? Just leave it to me, I say!" நரஸிக்கு சந்தோஷம். என்னக்கோ அதுல double!!!
மேடம்மைப்பத்தி நெறைய கேள்விப்பட்டிருக்கேன். அவரோட சில சிறுகதைகளை ரசித்துப்படிசிருக்கேன். என்னுடைய "மிக உயர்ந்தவர்கள்" பட்டியலில் அவரும் ஒருவர். அவரோட பாதி நாள் இருக்கணும்! Wow! What a life-time opportunity!!
மதியம் 3 மணிக்கு மேடம்மை phone ல கூப்பிட்டேன். என்னை அறிமுகப்படுத்திகிட்டு, வீட்டுக்கு வழி எல்லாம் கேட்டு வெச்சுக்கிட்டேன். Needless to say, I was excited!
21st Feb:
காலைல எழுந்திருக்கும் போதே ஒரு விறுவிறுப்பு...என்னிக்கும் இல்லாத ஒரு சுறுசுறுப்பு. Correct ஆ 9:10க்கு நான் மேடம் வீட்டு வாசல்ல! (9:00 மணிக்கு தான் வரேன்னு சொல்லி இருந்தேன்...பாழாய்ப்போன traffic க்கு என்னோட பதட்டம் புரியலேயே! சே!!). மேடம் sofa ல உட்கார்ந்து இருந்தாங்க. She looked dazzling!
நேரா போய் முதல்ல அவங்க காலத்தொட்டு கண்ணுல ஒத்திக்கிட்டேன் (Actualலா அவங்க கையைத்தான் முதல்ல கண்ணுல ஒத்திக்கிட்டு இருக்கணும்). மேடம் coffee குடிக்கிறியான்னு கேட்டாங்க. As such, நான் ஒரு coffee பைத்தியம். அதுல, மேடம் வீட்டில, அவங்க கையால coffee ன்னா, கேக்கணுமா? வேண்டாம்ணு சொல்லத்தோணல. ஒரு கப் coffee குடுச்சிட்டு, நாங்க office க்கு கெளம்பினோம். வழில போகும்போது அவரோட படைப்புகளைப்பற்றியும், வாழ்க்கையைப்பற்றியும் நிறைய ஆவலோடு கேட்டுக்கிட்டே வந்தேன். என் குடும்பம், வாழ்க்கையைப்பற்றியும், மேடமும் பொறுமையொடு கேட்டுகிட்டே வந்தாங்க. இப்போ அதே traffic ஐ வாழ்த்தினேன். ஆனா, அரை மணி நேரம், அரை நொடியாப்போச்சு!
Office ல படி ஏறும்போது, என் கையைப்பிடிச்சிக்கிட்டு மேடம் ஏறினாங்க. பல ஆயிரம் இதயங்களை தன் எழுத்தால கவர்ந்த அந்தக்கை, இதோ, மெத்துன்னு, என் கைக்குள்ள, அடக்கமா! God! I am gifted!!
Function ரொம்ப நல்லா நடந்தது. மறுபடியும் மேடம்மை வீட்டுல கொண்டுப்போய்விட்டேன். நமஸ்காரம் செஞ்சேன்.குங்குமம் கொடுதாங்க. மேடம் எழுதின 3 முத்தான புத்தக பொக்கிஷங்களை, அவங்க கையெழுத்துப்போட்டுக் கொடுத்தாங்க. Office ல நரஸிக்கிட்ட இத சொன்னபோது, அவர் உடனே, "பரவாயில்லியே! கரும்பு தின்ன கூலியும் கிடச்சிடுச்சே, உங்களுக்கு!" அப்படின்னார்.
வாழ்க்கைல எத்தனையோ மனிதர்களை பார்க்கிறோம், ரசிக்கிறோம். பல சம்பவங்கள் இனிமையா நம்ம மனசில பதியுது. அப்பிடிப்பட்ட ஒரு 'பெரிய' மனுஷிய பார்த்து, ரசித்த இனிமையான சம்பவமா இது என் வாழ்க்கைல இருக்கும். மறக்கமுடியாது!
அனுராதா ரமணணிடமிருந்து அந்த அரை நாளில் நான் கற்றது:
1) வாழ்க்கைல எவ்வளவு உயரப்போனாலும், எளிமையா இருக்கணும், இனிமையா பழகணும். "நிறை குடம் தளும்பாது" அப்படிங்கறதுக்கு மேடம் ஒரு எடுத்துக்காட்டு.
2) அவருக்கு எத்தனையோ உடல் உபாதைகள். ஆனாலும் அந்த மாறாத புன்சிரிப்பு. "துன்பம் வரும் வேளையிலே சிரிங்க" என்று சொல்வதுப்போல்.
3) மேடம்மோட ரசிப்புத்திறன். கூர்மையான கவனம். எல்லா படைப்பாளிகளுக்கும் தேவையான குணாதிசையங்கள்.
உயரப்பறந்தாலும், எளிமையா வாழ்ந்து, துன்பம் வந்தாலும் வராவிட்டாலும் எல்லா ஏற்றத்தாழ்வுகளையும் ஒரேப்போல ரசிக்கும் திறன், நம்மாலும் முடியுமா? தெரியலை! முயற்சி பண்ணலாம்...தப்பில்ல!!

And the best manager award goes to....

"Mother"

Mother - The Best Manager…

Have you seen or observed a mother handling a house-hold? Not only in these recent years where most mothers are also ‘working’ in offices/schools but ever since time unknown. In fact most management principles would have cropped up from observing such mothers. We would have heard this concept so many times. But I thought I should give it my share.

What are the basic expectations of a good manager? Some of my friends tease me for using an oxy-moron here. But I beg to differ! There are of course very good managers on this earth. Coming back to the point…so what makes a manager good? Efficient planning, Proper scheduling, Foreseeing risks, Preparing workable mitigation plans for those risks, being pragmatic in approach and style, quick decision-making and owning up the decisions made, gluing the team that works under him, understanding each team member’s strengths and weaknesses and playing to that, rewarding them in public and reprimanding in private, understanding business needs, realizing the operating margin at the targeted level, keeping the customers happy, the management proud and the teams wanting and deserved!

Now let us see how many of these qualities we can naturally derive from most of our mothers (working or unemployed, educated or uneducated). First, she is the undoubted Finance Minister in the house. She carefully plans for the budget of the family, keeping the income in mind. For turbulent times she also sets apart an amount in reserves. In this context, she has to collectively work with her husband to make the savings and mitigate any cash-crunches for the family.

Not only for the future that will come in years/months, she deftly plans every day. Her chores are pretty mundane in one sense but the challenge is to handle the curves that life throws at her at the dawn of every day. When does this girl, who was until marriage and child-birth was only a playful lass, mature into a “woman”? Is it when she has to be managing her own household or is it when she mothers her first kid? This multi-tasking ability of a woman which really gets showcased especially only after she has her own family seems like an innate thing in every woman.

Her sense of planning/scheduling the day is just amazing. She knows what she has to prepare in the kitchen and makes all prior arrangements. Once done, she immediately starts attending to the other cleaning/washing activities. Even working mothers will have to do all this either by themselves or with the help of a domestic servant. The onus on the woman is much more in these cases as she has to make sure work is done on time and in the right way.

Whenever there is a rift/tension in the family, whether it is a joint family or a nuclear one, she acts as an ambassador and makes every effort to ensure that the family gets back to its harmonious state again. She has to be the glue in the family binding the members together.
In times of depression and despair, she ends up deciding for the family. She acts as the captain of a ship and steers the family with so much will and grit. This unique ability of women sometimes makes one wonder if she is really a weaker sex!

If the in-laws can be called customers, she listens to their needs and caters to them. So also, she makes her “management” proud by bringing them good-will and great reputation. Here parents of the woman could be compared to the “management”. And finally, the team, including her husband, is her family! Of course, it is for them that she performs these superb feats!

Is it now wrong to say that mothers are indeed the best of managers?

‘Technical’ or ‘Technological’?

How ‘technical’ are you? Or, are you ‘technological’?

The dictionary meaning of ‘technical’ plainly means ‘technological’, ‘procedural’ and some more similar words are enlisted. When I was a developer, I used to be asked, “Are you technical?” What I assumed it meant was “Are you hands-on in any technology?” I would answer in the affirmative. Days passed by. I eventually became a manager. Again, when I was asked if I was technical, don’t know why but I am confused.

Does being technical mean:
a) Knowing/understanding/comprehending technology?
b) Hands-on in a particular or many such technologies?
c) In one’s line of specialization (Project Management), being technical? As in, knowing the nuances of Project Management and applying the same in projects effectively?
d) Process-driven?

If it means (a) or (b) above, then does it mean Managers/Quality Personnel are not technical? In which case other professionals like a carpenter, architect, designer or a plumber, not ‘technical’ in his/her line of specialization?

Where I am coming from is – the moment I say, “I am not technical any longer” (what I mean is I don’t work hands-on with technology any more), I am given a sheepish look by some and some look at me in awe! Is this something to be ridiculed at?

How easy or difficult is it for a Manager to stay in touch (I mean hands-on) with technology? Is it really required? Or is it sufficient if one can comprehend technology and relate to the customer’s line of business and apply his ‘technical’ concepts on the job?

Is this ‘technical’ business only in IT? Or, do other fields face the same criticism?

Bees saal baad @ home - scaring the hell out of my brother…

My brother now works in a reputed major bank as a Chief Manager. He has his own sweet family. But still, if ever we get time alone, and I ask him to venture in the dark with me (even if it is the next bed room or living), he immediately warns me, “Is it ok if I hit you at this age?” I know why he asks me that question. He is yet to come out of all the ‘shocks’ that I have given him all through our childhood.

He is just about 2 years younger than me. Ever since my memory can trace back, there have been umpteen episodes where I have given him a chill down his spine. So much so that, many times he has gone to the floor unconscious. Some episodes I laughed hysterically looking at his bleached expressions and some other, I was very scared that I would be in jail the next day for homicide L

Did that make me drop the habit of scaring him? No! Never!! I am not the one to give up!!! :-D

A couple of episodes that I recall…one funny and the other naively-committed crime…

I think I was in class VIII and he in class VI. By then he had had his “sacred thread” across his chest. And he being an ardent believer of the concept that the sacred thread would ward-off any evil, daringly set out to go with me to buy some tidbits from the nearby shop at 8:30 in the evening. 20 years back, 8:30 was pretty ‘late’ in the night for Chennai standards. We merrily hopped to the shop, bought the goodies and were tracing back home.

There is this particular spot on the way which has this electricity box installed. There was a tree opposite this box on the other side of the road. The lighting in that area was such that the shadow of this tree falls exactly on this box and makes only the skull (the danger sign) visible to us. The rest of the box is shadowed by the tree.

It was exactly in this spot, that I stopped and started walking very slowly. This little brother of mine innocently thought that something was wrong with me and he stopped too. He turned to see what had happened to me. I kind of gave a frozen look. He came near. He asked me what happened. I stared deeply at him and started grinning showing all my teeth. I tilted my head to my left and turned it to the right facing the skull on the electricity box. He was almost frozen to death! He looked at the box only then and immediately clung on to his “brahma mudichu” in the “sacred thread”. He started chanting the “Gayathri Manthra” and ran towards home. My laugh was so hysterical and loud and that made him tremble much more. He would have beaten all records in running that evening. I could actually see his heels hit his thigh! J From then on, until we started working, the boy never ventured out with me late in the evenings!

There are a couple of other episodes that rush my mind as I write this. I will share one more here. Just around the same age, my parents had left us home and were off to attend a wedding reception. My granny, elder sister, my brother and I were watching some Tamil crime thriller. I was getting restless with the movie and hence decided to do something else, worth-while(?). I had long, thick, black, shining hair which I had washed that day and hence had left it open. I tried chewing paan and that had left my mouth red. I was admiring myself in the mirror.

The movie was reaching its climax and I hated the fact that my brother was so glued to it without playing with me. I thought to myself, “So what? I will play with him even when he is watching the movie”. I should say that was an innocent thought. I kept dancing in front of the mirror with my tongue stuck out and hair open. As the movie’s climax was getting my brother to the edge of his seat, I stood by his side and just put my head in front of his face. My red tongue sticking out, my hair giving my face a black perfect background and blinding my brother from anything else in front of him! It was just a perfect scene!!

To my horror, my brother just stopped breathing and stretched his legs out. He lay there like a stick motionless. Before I realized what I had done, my sister struck me like thunder from behind. She quickly sprinkled water on his face, chanted some manthras and put some holy ashes on his forehead. She gave him some water to drink. Slowly he regained consciousness. I was and still am happy to see him alive!!

Not once or twice but at least a hundred odd times, before I finished class XII, I would have done this act of scaring him. In fact I had stopped in between when I heard that some kid down-south died of an attack because of such pranks. But life was no fun without these episodes! So I was kind of milder with him making sure he does not have any attacks, really! One ‘baah’ and another ‘booh’ at unexpected corners/circumstances gave me enough thrills to keep me going. I am sure he would have been the first at home to get relieved of me, when I joined a residential college post XII! And, I still yearn for those days with my brother…

Lachu Paati - The 'Super' Woman!

Have you heard of an 88 year old lady watching 20-20 with all enthusiasm amidst the soaps that keep running on the other channels? Have you come across such an old person trying to ‘make’ herself ‘up’ before someone comes home or she is to visit someone? Have you noticed any one at this stage wanting to sing all the songs that she has learnt from her childhood (including some nursery rhymes – King Kapeech Va, “Home they brought her warrior dead” by Alfred Tennyson)? Have you seen such an old woman wanting to learn computers (games – not how to play but how to code!), dividends, debentures, share markets, forensic science and what not?

Welcome to the world of this ‘Super Woman’ – my very own granny who we fondly call “Lachu Paati”. She is such a bundle of energy. She has to wake up at 6 (latest) in the morning and have a hot cuppa coffee just after she brushes. If it is not served, she knows to meander her way into the kitchen and make it herself. Just that she would leave her footprint by spilling sugar or pouring some of the milk down or may be just forgetting to turn off the burner! If pointed out, she would say “you could fix it, can’t you?”.

Then her bathing routine; she does not trust any of us washing her 9-yards saree. She hand-washes them herself, wears a spotless white blouse with it, has her hair neatly combed with some coconut oil applied regularly to that short, grayish-white, curly tress, which she makes a small bun of; then, applies the talcum powder to her face and believes in keeping herself presentable all the while! That is something none of her 10 grand children picked up!!

She still helps the household by plaiting our long hair, cleaning the pooja, cutting vegetables and taking care of herself. She sticks to her routine and does not like anyone tampering with it. The problem is she wants all of us to follow a routine as well.

She has studied till VII grade. She helps the smaller grand-children by teaching them Tamil & Math. But again the challenge is in keeping her away from doing their homework. She is so fast that she cannot wait for us to complete anything. She is hyper-active, to say the least! She would grab the pen/pencil from us and our notebook, do the math quickly and tell us “you would have still not completed it, left to yourself!” We feel good about the work being done but just that we would not have the courage to face our parents!

She is such a curious person. When some one calls over the phone, we curse Grahambell so much for this invention of his! She would nag us so much to get to know who has called, for what purpose, what are they saying, from where are they calling…the list of questions is endless. She would not even wait until we put the phone down. She wants ‘real’-time updates (as and when we speak).

Once she asked me to explain how the gaming software “Prince” was coded! OMG!! She troubled me so much with so many questions that I found it difficult to answer. And finally, she said, “Don’t call yourself an engineer. You fit for nothing!” I wish she would go onsite as a consultant for one of the critical engagements J I am sure the customer would scoot!

When my brother was trying hard to understand the basics in accounting sitting with my Company Secretary father, she stopped by for a while and asked “Kanna (my father’s name), how is debenture different from dividend?” My brother felt so inferior in comparison to her knowledge levels.

Before she picks up any topic on the criminal novels that she reads, we try to vanish into thin air simply because she would chase us with a quiver full of questions on “Forensic science”.

And an all time favourite question of hers for us is when she was intently watching a cricket match and asked my brother “Enda, Kumble vera, Kambli veraiya?” (meaning are Kumble and Kambli 2 different people).

God save us from this sweet but nagging devil! We love her thirst for knowledge even at this stage and the way she carries herself! You are great, Paati!

Japanese Hospitality

Have any of you been through “Japanese hospitality”? And that too, in India? Those were the days when US was considered not just an ‘on-site’ but as an almost ‘out-of-reach’ for many. I had in all about 3 years work experience. I was nominated as a “Lead” for a Japanese project. Then, in those days (about a decade back), Japan was also considered a cool, on-site! I was excited to be the lead and I would only call myself a ‘Project Coordinator’ for the fear of losing my peers’ friendship!

The project involved translating a particular MRP software from Japanese to English. The systems were not on any network. We had to “laplink” data from one machine to another. It was grueling, to say the least. We had to translate some 500 odd forms to English with the help of some Japanese translators who worked round the clock with us, the technical team.

The last stage of wrapping up and the client was here in India to see the close of the project. Her name was ‘Makato Miyachi’, a Filipino. She looked like a doll and used to be clad in business formals (skirt). She looked very smart. In those days, the craving to get noticed by or talk to ‘fair-skinned’ people was more! :-D I was introduced to her as the ‘Lead’. My pride knew no bounds!

She gifted me with a box carefully wrapped in silver color paper. All my peers were gazing at me and were all green! I took the box and secretively hid it with my belongings. Evening, I left early that day. I took this box home with all the pride in my face as though I have won the Oscars! I did not let my siblings touch it. After my Pa came from work, I showed this to him and started unwrapping.

It was a chocolate-brown box full of…Japanese biscuits! They looked yummy!! But being the strict orthodox veggies at home, my father frowned and left it to us! May be he expected some thing else inside? May be not any eatable?? Anyway, I was busy inspecting which one to taste first. Since it was ‘mine’, I said I had the rights to taste this first. Then, I took one biscuit and put it in my mouth. My face went pale. It is ok to have tasteless stuff but how do people manage to eat this raw-smelling/tasting thing and call it a biscuit! I was so disappointed about the ‘foreign’ biscuit. My brother was smart. Seeing my reaction, he said, “after all you have worked for it, please have this for all 3 courses of the days to come”. I then gracefully said that I must share it with my team mates as they all have slogged it with me! And, I closed the box!!

The next day, I called upon my peers to have this. Though they all teased me for taking it home the previous day, no one denied taking the biscuits. But the first bite, each one went back to their places :-)

Then our Makato Miyachi asked me how I liked the biscuits. I had to say they were “out of the world” though I wanted to say “out of the window”. Then she offered me the same biscuits during tea. I refused saying she has given me enough. :-( She would not listen. She forced it in my hand. I pretended to eat that junk and dropped it on the floor (as though by mistake) and said “Oh God! I dropped it”. She immediately said, “Do not worry! I have enough. Here, please take a few more!” I admired her hospitality but for heaven's sake she could have spared me...if only I could have run away, I would have done that. I almost cried as I ate the second one and my whole team was standing around the cubicle, peeking at me and giggling!! :-(

From that day on, I started referring to Makato Miyachi as “makku dhan Meenatchi” (meaning Meenakshi is dumb). :-)

Don’t ask me what happened to the project… it is better left unsaid….

If only we had these cross-cultural trainings then, I would have done better with this customer. Huh!