Mothers' second innings

As far as my observation goes, usually in middle-class families if the mother is educated, whether she was a star at school or a cipher, she ends up doing her education all over again along with her child. The number of times she goes through the education system is directly proportional to the number of “not-so-good-academically” kids that she bears.

In my own experience, I have been an above-average student at school. I have however, teased my brethren who could not perform as much as I could those days. Now I repent. You know, this is Kaliyuga. What you sow is what you will reap. I have a challenge now to handle. These were the thoughts that crossed my mind when my child did not show much academic inclination. Only to later discover, that whether one has mocked others for bad performance in studies or not, every mother who is educated, will have to go through this trauma of educating her children.

Mothers who do not go to work and those who are ‘smart’ have it easy. They can meet the teacher fraternity post school hours, do some apple-polishing, get the syllabus much ahead of time, stay in tune with whatever happened in school. Whereas these poor working mothers… they end up remotely managing the child after their school hours. By the time they reach home in the evenings after work, all the time is gone. End of the day, when the child is also as worn out as the mother, what could be the productivity?

She has to keep track of her children’s exams, timetable, schedules of other activities and everything else under the sky for her children. If she does not do all these, guilt will kill her live and early. Though it is believed that children of working mothers are far more independent, that is turning out to be a myth. Mothers’ guilt pampers the children so much that these children get the best of all the worlds!

In fact, many times I have come across working mothers discussing what their next exam is and when? I overheard one mother ask another, “Did your son have his Social Studies Cycle Test this week?”. For which the other mother said, “No, no. That is only next week. This week we studied Science. All about ‘Metals and non-Metals’ and ‘How Living Things work’ ”. She sported that proud grin on her face. “How is your daughter in studies now?” questions the second one. The first one replies, “She has improved but still a long way to go…” with that sad expression on her face as though the whole world is sinking.

These are not only lunch time conversations. We can hear these ramblings and ‘healthy’ transactions in every place where more than one mother meets the rest of her breed.

Again on keen observation the following facts come to light:

1) Fathers of these kids are all ‘angry’ men. If they are asked to handle these kids on their homework or exams, all hell breaks loose. The poor child gets beaten up and the father (if he is above 30) gets a BP rise! Damage control costs more for the mother now!

2) Most of these kids are boys. Usually, looks like girls are far more organized. Again there are exceptions everywhere.

3) Mothers expect their children to be “the best” in their class. So if he/she is a B grader, the expectation is clear…he/she should aim for an O+…

4) Last but not the least, the child in question never seems to realize or worry about why this entire struggle. With that innocent and captivating expression that only they can bring on their faces the apologies they ask for non-performance can melt any steel heart. What can mothers do but melt?

As a mother of one such child, sometimes sets me thinking, is all this trouble worth its salt?