2 dozen maids and still going strong…

I had (and still have) my own selfish reasons for not settling in any other part of the world. Not that I had a red carpet in any country, but just chose not to move out of India. Call it comfort zone or whatever! My knowledge is limited and am not sure if any other part of the world would have so much support at the domestic front for lazy bones like me!

There is a laundry guy who comes to collect our washed clothes, there is a milk-supplier who drops the sachets early in morning (or evening as the case may be), then there are drivers/chauffeurs, we have a guy who flings the newspapers/magazines at our door step every morning, gardeners, plumbers, carpenters, electricians, then you have the veggie vendors, some essential goods’ suppliers and a whole host of services offered at our very door step. And, all these services at throw-away prices!!! For those whiners amidst you, who complain about India, think of all this luxury…which other world can provide you all this and much more? ;-)

While all other services are luxury, having a maid or two at home to help you with domestic chores has become a must these days. I do not want to blame our job patterns and hence our busy schedules for the growing demand of maids. This is because, I have also observed maids being employed at houses where the lady (or the man) of the house is unemployed! The reason may be (as I try to figure it out), we have more than what we need, in every aspect of life. That’s ok! What else are we slogging for? Right?!

I have digressed so much from the core of the issue that I set to address in this post. Maids! Yeah…Maids!! No, no. Please do not think that this is some kind of a tribute to the maids of the world. It would rather be the other way round.

Maids have become such an important part of almost all house-holds - whether the families are big or small, whether there are bachelors or spinsters staying with friends or alone. You name it and the house would employ at least one maid.

What a challenge could these human-beings become in our otherwise routine, mundane lifestyles! In my over a decade and above married life, we would have employed about 2 dozen or more (I lost count) maids so far. “Why so many?”, you may wonder. The rest of this post will give you the answers.

This is one employee-employer relationship where the employer is at risk all the time! Job opportunities are plenty for these ‘skilled’ employees, so we better handle with care. In fact, the rate at which we change maids at home, I have my nephew asking me, “How long will this ‘avatar’ last?” (Obviously referring to the new maid as the ‘avatar’). We, at home have this unique problem of seeing only the positives only in the first two days of employment. The third day morning either my MIL or my SIL or my FIL or one other member of the family would start whining and lamenting about the new arrival’s tantrums. If all are happy, I start smelling something ‘fishy’!

The clichéd phrase “more the merrier” fails miserably when you try to employ more than one thinking it is any kind of risk mitigation. Caution - it will only work the other way around.
As a matter of fact, I am so experienced in this subject now that I can write a book on “How to select, train, engage, retain/sack maids?” (For the dummies of course!).

Maids come in all size, shapes, behaviors, characteristics…some cannot come early in the morning and some cannot come in the evenings…some cannot stay for a whole 5 hour routine while some others cannot leave our house at all…some understand every word of what we speak and try to trouble us with their over-smartness…some do not understand even the most basic of instructions…some want the TV to be turned on (preferably dish channels) as they are working…some want only music to be on (some FM channel)…some want to make calls to their ‘near-and-dear’ from our land lines and some carry a mobile of their own (look at the technology reach!)….some don’t stop talking and some don’t answer any questions asked…some will eat food made at our house but only fresh and hot and some others would not want to even smell the food we make…some come dressed like they were contesting fashion shows, putting our dressing sense to shame while some others make us wonder if they know anything at all about personal hygiene and cleanliness…some also go that extra mile of giving us news on the neighborhood and rest assured your stories are also broadcast in other houses…this list is endless!

My,oh,my! Why does God not create the perfect maids for each of us who would want to employ one (or two, may be!)??? Is that asking for too much? God knows…oops…sorry…Maids know…